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awaken
November 2009 
To Waken What Still Sleeps...
starlight
Long ago and far away...
Closely I hold the scars...
Some are still infected wounds...
Bleeding, open, raw...
I had to hold them distantly...
To ever survive them at all...
Lessons learned much later now...
Sometimes I still must crawl...
Years ago I wondered...
Why should one suffer pain???
How did I survive it all...
And who’s really to blame???
I fell out of many trees...
My mind was twisted so...
Had to stuff my anger...
No one could really know...
Good that I have so much depth...
Joy can feel me now...
Pain makes room for many things...
And anger shows me how...
Looking at it honestly...
A wiser perspective and view...
I am my own physician...
I can heal all that is true...
And so my journey continues...
Discovery of deeper deeps...
I am aware and determined...
To waken what still sleeps...
Starlight Dancing...
Access: Public
I know Pain Stinks.. but i heard someone say… Pain is the knife that carves out the depth of the vessel to contain your Joy… :-)
So… :-)
Let there be Joy… let there be pain… :-)
(Incidentally… feeling anthers pain is as good as getting the pain yourself… i know my riches may have always diluted my pains… but i do feel people… and i guess that is enough to carve me out too)
I think the question that you ask
Years ago I wondered…
Why should one suffer pain???
This fundamental Question can be answered by “We were not humble enough at That given point in time… and ego is the reason we suffered pain…”
What do you think.. ?
Can you look back and truly say that Yes… the past pain was because of lack of being Humble…?
I surely can…
Hey J…
I will have to disagree…while one's ego can certainly cause one to experience psychological pain, it is not always the culprit, nor is a lack of humility…this idea of ego always being a 'bad' thing has been overemphasized to great detriment and confusion…healthy ego is a good thing…without ego, you would not wake up and brush your teeth or even get out of bed…it is ridiculous to suppose that we can exist in any healthy way without ego…these spiritual and/or religious practices that demand you lose your ego…well, if that is the case then get ready to die…
There are stages that we go through in our psychological development…natural and necessary to our human process…
These stages can be a painful process…for an example, look at a small child that goes to school and gets bullied…his/her feelings are hurt…to much ego??? not humble enough??? i don't think so…this child is just learning how to get along with others…
In my own experience, much of my past psychological pain had little to nothing to do with ego…and a lot to do with the conditioned beliefs I had been taught, and the unfairness and injustice of the world…(children starving, child molesters, killings, wars, cruelty, etc.)…and humility???…physical pain, as well as being emotionally and psychologically abused beat me down so far into the depths of despair that inside I was a ghost…
Ohh Star…
You are right.. “Satva Ego” or good ego is really necessary…
And How True… without it… we would not get out of Bed…
But Just as you said… the child being bullied is Bullied by SOMEONE who has NO satva Ego.. and who has “Tamas” or bad Ego…
Even sometimes… i have heard that kids that bully.. are actually asking for attention.. coz they don;t get attention at home… and so try to be controlling and be popular at school… again… the loop coming back to a love-less household… being the reason why others suffer…
What i am trying to do is… make you see from the eyes of the eagle… and not as an Individual :-)
If everyone… (eagles eye) were to be having Good Ego… then; wouldn't the world be better a place…?
And it's really upsetting to hear you say that you had to go through so much psychological conditioning… and Physical Pain too ???
You know… once our neighbors started fighting.. and i mean really fight…
the kids where with them in side.. and i literally started breathing faster.. and at a point i could no longer hold myself…
I quickly ran out.. and hit my car…
The alarm went off… and after a good loud noise for a minute.. everything was peaceful.. :-)
I slept well after that night… and so did they i guess…
Sometimes… people need to know that they are not the only ones in the world… and when two people are angery… they forget the surrounding… and just do what ever comes to mind… loosing all judgement…
I wish i was there to hit any car there… :-) I really dislike violence and the perpetrates.. and to me… the hardest part is to be expressive of my anger, but i express it in a sexy way… and i have always found a great way to be angry & solve the problem too… i guess we have allot of Satva Ego… and allot of Anger too :-)
The best combination if you ask me… :-)
Much joy
Janak
many times the bullying child is a bully, not b/c of lack of attention, but due to being bullied at home…to much negative attention…
whether you are looking from the eyes of an eagle or not…you are human…an eagle is sometimes to high up to see what is going on in the valley…they cannot see all the mountains…but the mountains are there and they must be climbed…humanity is a mountain we have to climb…and getting lost in spirituality will not help us at this point…the injustices are not going away…just b/c you want them to, or want to see the good…you have to open your eyes and see it all…you KNOW this or else would not be doing all you are doing to make a change…
i use to live in a make believe world…now i live in the real world…what i have gone through has made me what i am, so why would i want to wish it away, if that were even possible?
anger is a human emotion and necessary for our survival…if not expressed in healthy ways it can cause illness and even death…
there is much richness in what sleeps within - loving you, my star
Hey Nic…yeap…just think of the universe before…asleep in all it's darkness…it's womb unknowing of it's own majestic potential…discovering it could connect with itself and poof…from the darkness cometh light!!!
how magical we are!!!
love and smoochies…*
p.s. spent a few hours on the phone with Rain yesterday…she is a beautiful being…and will be coming up for our get together…
such a beautiful creation star, thanks for sharing your lessons, luv (:
oh, that is so great. I will enjoy meeting Rain too! hugs
Hey Janie, thank you for your kind words and for stopping by…
Yeah Nic, she is a sweet person, you will enjoy her…
love and joy*
“To waken what still sleeps.” And it seems to me, Star, that we're all awakening to the wonder and joy and is finally putting to rest, the scars, pain, heartaches, the ones that perhaps took turns to shake us awake so we are able to see the universe in all its beautiful ugliness :)
Ah, Star, you write so deeply and passionately…your poems are like a basket of starry wonder, a field of beautiful flowers…they just bring me down on my knees to gather them all…each and every one.
Dearest Amy, I so appreciate your encouragement…you are such an inspiration here on Gaia…I see all that you do…you leave drops of your love everywhere you go…hmmmmmmm…I might just have to write another poem for you…called Drops of Goddess…gol…you know, if we dance on the edge of time…anything is possible…much love to you Amy…always, star…