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December 2009 
Who has been your greatest teacher?
starlight
my own awareness...when i pay attention...lol
today i am taking a big step into a familiar world...yet it is unknown to me today...
i am a singer/songwriter/musician...and most of my early life was filled with music, studios, road gigs, bands, recording...and i never thought twice about it, because it was my life...
i got derailed...and then my life was filled with drugs and alcohol...and that became the god of my understanding...
for a little more than two years, my sobriety and emotional growth and well being has been my priority...every thing else has taken a back seat...i was an emotional mess to say the least...and there were family relationships to repair...waking up to reality is a difficult thing...but the rewards are significantly wonderful...
now the universe has unfolded again...and it is time for me to focus on my music...when i was making plans last night for today...to go to the studio and play some of my material with my new producer...i was excited, yet i was overwhelmed with fear...but i paused, and realized that this is all new territory for me now...and i just got to walk through it...stay in the moment...it is really no big deal...there are no monsters that are going to gobble me up...unless i create them and allow them too...lol
as long as i am able to think realistically, and continue to pay attention to the truths within my own awareness...more and more i realize that my strengths are within me...they surface when i allow them too...
thanx Siona for these little reminders that encourage us to express ourselves on oh so many levels...
always, star...
Access: Public
I was moved by this and look forward to hearing the new songs.Thanks for doing what you do. It makes a huge difference.
thank you for sharing that…sometimes laying it all out there can be cold…you feel so naked…lol…but hey…blogging and sharing my experiences keeps it real, and keeps me real with me…and when someone like you comes along and leaves a 'wise and insightful'…and i must say…encouraging comment…it makes it all worthwhile…much joy…*
naked and cold is not an easy place to be…but you are surrounded by the warmth of all your friends here and we are pretty hot! LOL
Seriously….this blog is wonderful Star…and shows others that it IS possible to move form the dark place into the light and find your way to the mountain top where you can sing your heart out and all can hear!
Big love
Aley
thank you aley…it is very nice to know….sometimes i think i have sheltered myself, and insulated my being somewhat…but i had to…there was so much inner work i had to do…and now i feel like i am stepping out into the open air of freedom…like a little baby bird…just learning how to fly in her world…it's exciting…it's scarry…it's real…i'm awake…and i am just gonna 'do it'…like nike says…lol…wisdom from a shoe…OMG….i am full of crazy energy…have about an hour and a half before the studio thing…and it is really no big deal…it just 'feels' like it is…haha…
i will catch you up on it when i come home…my very first CD after years of rehersal…all these songs would never had been given a voice had i not gone through what i went through…and it's not over yet! in many ways i feel like my life is just beginning…
thnx for stopping by and leaving your encouragements…always, star…
Rock & Roll Ladyfriend, I am excited for you. After reading from your beautiful song book, I am eager to hear your melodies.
much love
Lorna
hey Lorna…that is my next step…i want to share my melodies and voice with all you guys…it's coming…i just have to make it a reality by 'doing it'…lol
as always, your presence is appreciated…*
keep going :) sounds like the tough stuff is behind you now. looking forward to hearing your new creativity!
thnx for your encouragement…i think now it becomes just a matter of deciding what to do and doing it! lol…
my meeting was productive…he is young, but very qualified. he played me some more of his work, and it sounded amazing…i sang several of my songs, and he likes that my arrangements are so solid…he does everything by computer…even his keyboardist does not have to burn gas to come to Nashville; he just emails him the tracks…that is sooooooooo wild…i have plenty of memories where all the musicians were there in the studio, and now that is just not the typical way of handling it these days…lol
now it is just a matter of my going through my vast amount of material, and deciding on which songs to use for a 'themed' CD…
what speaks to my hearts experience, are all the anti-drug songs…although they are not commercial, that is not really the point…i am not doing this to sell commercially…i want to put together something original that speaks to the heart of those that may have had the same experiences, and are looking for a way out…or at least a way to understand…
i realize that i am going against traditional methods…but hey…i'm a rebel…LOL…and i am rather tired of hearing the same old ideas…in-fact…i really don't listen…some of it is good, i am not saying it isn't, but most of it is designed to appeal to illusion…and commercialism…and this is something i have always fought with my music…maybe another reason why i have not been successful by their standards…but i don't care about that…that is not what i am about…
anyways, we shall see how this unfolds…but i will guarantee that the songs will be real and original…it is not a CD that necessarily will be designed to make you 'feel good'…it will be geared more towards 'waking up'…and waking up can be most unpleasant and uncomfortable…but i refuse to sing you back to sleep…lol…my rock-a-by lullabies are hard core truths about what is going on in our own back yards while we just pull the shades…and i have to stay true to that…however; i do want to put some that also show the hope of my experience…that things can change…when we change…i hope it all resonates…and am open for suggestions from my dear friends here that i have come to know through this process, and who i respect…and am in awe of…
as always, i am honored by your presence and your input is invaluable…much joy…star…
I just love that, ”wisdom from a shoe”!!! You have the best sense of humor and isn't that part of how we keep it all real. What a brave woman you are! I am so glad you're here :)
Can't wait to hear some of your music. Starlight 'tis sweeter after a stormy night sky!
erin! you snuk this one in…lol…yeah, i love shoe wisdom…adyashanti says that looking for enlightenment is much like a shoe running around trying to find its own soul…i think that is hilarious…
i am really looking forward to hearing your voice sing out in the beauty of your creativity… thanks for the heads up that this exciting new step for you is coming to fruition. yay!
thnx nicole! just the next step in my own evolution…lol…
Thanks for sharing your story….I think there are any number of words that could be substituted where you have [music] - things that have been loved and lost and now being found again. There's just a ring of familiarity and I am grateful I came to read this today. The Unfolding Universe….hmmm it does have that way.
looking forward to hearing more….J
thank you janet…for gracing my blog with your presence…*