a little child was crying...
and so i asked her why...
she said that she was crying...
because her mommy lied...
i asked her who she lied to...
she said mommy lied to me...
all these years she did this...
kept me from being free...
she told me that i'd burn in hell...
said something about a soul...
if i did not do exactly
as i had been told...
that god was always watching...
everything i did...
i was afraid most of my life...
to guilty to really live...
there was this creature the devil...
and it could get into you...
in fact i had been born with it...
it had power to make you do...
if i asked for lots of forgiveness...
when i laid me down to sleep...
then if i died while dreaming...
heaven i'd finally reap...
unless i had a bad dream...
what would happen then?
a battle of good and evil...
a soul to lose or win...
i learned to fear this powerful one...
whose name was always god...
forced to believe and live this lie...
he ruled from up above...
she always said god loved me...
it did not feel that way...
why did mommy lie to me?
every single day?
i wiped away this child's tears...
and held her close to me...
i told her mommy did not know...
that mommy was not free...
oh listen now to this child...
listen and understand...
release the ancient chains that bind...
the ones that were made by man...
stop handing down old heartaches...
see what you are within...
stop making your own children cry...
time after time again...
investigate what you believe...
teach children to do the same...
wake up from religion...
it's time for us to change...
StarLight Dancing...with Nicole...

with the heart of a child i trusted...
so innocent and pure...
awareness thus is molded...
into something sure...
a playful imagination...
wistful, sassy, carefree...
heart's tender ribbon...weaving...
an identity called me...
sheltered from reality...
was given an easier life...
then either of my parents had...
the dark souls of their night...
always a free spirit...
yet learned to play the game...
early found escape routes...
from all that was insane...
memories they fail me...
maybe that is best...
release the pain...release the pain...
awareness free to rest...
no longer are the questions there...
the wrenching painful whys...
all happened just the way it did...
even the unknown lies...
along with all the suffering...
such love was given me...
heart's tender ribbon...weaving...
a path that led to free...
StarLight Dancing...with LeeAnn...thnx...

spirit of the universe...
reality within...
there is no place to pinpoint...
where god begins or ends...
our very life, our very breath...
is spiritual divine...
god is energy in motion...
the all of space and time...
i watched the magical sunset...
such brilliant light i saw...
today as i sat under a tree...
and felt the breeze in awe...
spirit of the universe...
and all that you reveal...
i bow to this great power...
that makes up all that's real...
everything reflected...
from the smallest blade of grass...
is filled with this god energy...
and made from consciousness...
from the time before the big bang...
when all of this began...
till time eternal and beyond...
evolving journey of man...
this higher power that you seek...
has always been in you...
tap into this awareness...
recreate your life...anew...
StarLight Dancing...

and i probably will not be here much b/c of it...not that that really matters much in the scope of things...it is like saying that i don't want to be an American anymore...stuck with that at the moment...LOL...but this really sucks big time...i loved being able to see everything that was going on by just popping on my home page in a smaller window while i attended to other stuff...now, if i choose to, i will have to click links for the first ten minutes just to see what is going on...can't multitask and keep Gaia in a small window now...that is impossible to do...i am really pissed off about this change...DO WE NOT COUNT???????

also, it makes it harder for newcomers...i remember the last time a lot of changes were made, we lost a lot of cool people...that sucked then and this sucks now...i know the power's that be worked hard on this, and nothing against them...but this really is not a change for the better...at least not in my opinion...but then you know what they say about those...anyways...that is my voice in the wilderness that is now Gaia...

always, star...fuck the joy i'm pissed!

more and more i only want to be alone with you...
the peace and joy you give to me each moment free yet new...
content to watch the sun set; and stars in their darkened sky...
no longer needing to answer, the questions asking why...
interconnected with all that is, yet isolated in bliss...
open to all, yet infatuated...with your eternal kiss...
not willing to play the game anymore...but accepting it as played...
a deeper knowing...growing...true rainbow light changing shade...
free to enjoy the all that is, not hindered by all the noise...
this inner-space now beauty...you've filled with endless joys...
it's cup now runneth over...to the all of all that is...
may each one find their inner-being...partake of glorious bliss...
being the change you wish to see...rich tapestry's you weave...
you are the dreamer, dreaming...dream; and dancer of the dream...
StarLight Dancing...

rain has washed away debree...
and left a clean-free place...
the sound of rain massaged my soul...
leaving a relaxed open space...
the wet of rain brought joy...
exstinguishing inner fires...
it's gentle kiss invigorates...
connecting, detached wires...
the smell of rain brought fresh outlooks...
an endless transparent view...
every moment vibrant...
every instant new...
rain is filled with nourishment...
it's purpose to nurture and grow...
satisfying the thirsty...
it saturates it's soul...
rain has brought the rainbow...
such brilliance to behold...
rain has brought the gift of life...
that never can grow old...
StarLight Dancing...

god's heart burst into time and space...
with unimaginable feeling...
so passionate was this experience...
for life to begin revealing...
the core of consciousness...
never born...and never can die...
embedded in the seen and unseen...
beyond the human eye...
was god aware? does life know?
does feeling make it real?
are human's evolving back to their source?
what really is the deal?
is consciousness getting smarter?
than even it's very core?
or are we just re-living...
what has been done before?
Buddha's bliss is feeling...
in fact that's all it is...
the peace of Christ...the heaven of God...
the divine immortal kiss...
the question posed to religion and science...
is there anything really new?
or are we just on a journey back...
remembering what we once knew?
if consciousness is infinite...
how can we ever arrive?
if it is pure potential...
on this journey of being alive...
then in a sense it is evolving...
into it's own limitlessness...
consciousness learning to be human...
feeling and following it's bliss...
many claim there's only awareness...
without reflection who could know...
not one, not two...yet always new...
this journey of conscious soul...
while we wonder where this will take us...
some claim that only they know...
but how can one know the infinite?
the infinite,  awaring soul...
filled with it's own compassion...
equanimity burst into being...
it calls you now to recognize...
this very conscious freeing...
StarLight Dancing...

holes in my heart...tears in my eyes...
is it any wonder...are you surprised?
you've laid me wide open...feelings bare...
mind is raw...you think it fair?
how would you know how i really feel?
don't you dare tell me that it isn't real...

just yesterday...you vowed your love...
now you've turned your back on me...what are you made of?
you say i've changed...time for you to go...
not sure you ever knew me...was i ever yours to know?
how would you know how i really feel?
don't you dare tell me that it isn't real...

i was blind but now i see...
through your transparent ways...
now i know i'm better off...
will live for brighter days...
right now i see through darkness...
awakened to the light...
i sware i think your heartless...
but i will be alright...
holes in my heart...tears in my eyes...

kissing you goodbye...gently on your cheek...
accepting this as truth...it's how it needs to be...
i'm ok now...nothing that wont heal...
i see you for what you are...now i know the deal...
you could never know how i really feel...
i don't give a damn what you think isn't real...

i was blind but now i see...
through your transparent ways...
now i know i'm better off...
will live for brighter days...
right now i see through darkness...
awakened to the light...
i sware i think your heartless...
but i will be alright...
holes in my heart...tears in my eyes...

holes in my heart...tears in my eyes...
StarLight Dancing...

kiss me goodbye...one last kiss...
don't think about the things that you're gonna miss...
think about the love that between us flowed...
true love is something that none of us can hold...
maybe for a moment...within a memory...
yet in your heart forever...i will always be...

listen to my voice...let it still your soul...
love is never lost...we're never in control...
take it as it comes...give it as it goes...
love is free...not ours to keep...and only love knows...
where it will grace...how it will breathe...
yet in your heart forever...i will always be...

feel me and remember...love flowing like it did...
between two hearts...no end or start...
love itself the bridge...
close your eyes and visualize...that place where we found free...
in your heart forever...i will always be...

i know it feels as if your heart is ripping into two...
but you will always be a part of me...and me of you...
love has been forever free from any single grasp...
sometimes letting go's the only way that love can last...
hold me for a moment...within a memory...
set me free forever...in your heart i'll always be...

feel me and remember...love flowing like it did...
between two hearts...no end or start...
love itself the bridge...
close your eyes and visualize...that place where we found free...
in your heart forever...i will always be...
set me free within your heart...and i'll forever be...
StarLight Dancing...

i don't mean to hurt you...don't mean to be unkind...
just my insecurities...they're so cold inside...
forgotten how to just pretend...that everything's ok...
what you see is what you get...it has to be that way...

long before the morning rises...i open up my eyes...
to many doors have slammed shut...to many nights i've cried...
you want me to trust you...something i can't do...
having to face my inner truths...there's no room for you...

don't know where i'm going...but i know where i've been...
and i don't really know if i can ever let you in...
don't know where i'm going...but i know where i've been...
and i don't really know if i can ever let you in...

here i am alone again...it seems to be my fate...
maybe i've run out of time...learned to love to late...
at least today i can breathe free...not captured by desire...
but deep within me i can feel an everlasting fire...

is it fear?  i don't know...a heart that just can't heal?
to much pain and misery...not sure how to feel...
i'm alright, i'm ok...i'm just fine on my own...
maybe it's my destiny...to walk this world alone...

don't know where i'm going...but i know where i've been...
and i don't really know if i can ever let you in...
don't know where i'm going...but i know where i've been...
and i don't really know if i can ever let you in...
StarLight Dancing...

feeling that overwhelmed itself...
into being...already alive...
evolving...feeling...happens...
in consciousness it thrives...
learning how to know itself...
potential expressed endlessly...
building it's own structures...
then setting itself free...
oh ancient conscious feeling...
unlimitedly aware...
knowing now, that it knows...
and feeling itself into care...
Jesus was right...God is love...
and Buddha's equanimity...
all the rest are too correct...
this truth will set all free...
compassion within one and all...
heartdrops of Dharmakaya...
not one; not two; yet me; and you;
all life; and all of Maya...
emptiness is consciousness...
it's fullness is pure feeling...
Awareness always dancing...
life's journey of human healing...
StarLight Dancing...

all the people that i've met,
all the places that i've seen,
living one day to the next,
is just a change of scenery...
my heart it aches for more;
nothing's really what it seems,
but i'll keep on moving forward,
while i'm chasing my dreams...

everybody looks the same,
and most people play the game,
they can't let you see inside their heart,
cause it's so full of pain...
while i can't stop the sunshine,
and i can't stop the rain...
but i can love you through it all,
if you'll take me back again...

every breath  i take; every step i make...
somehow brings me back to loving you...
shouldn't have left you behind...baby i've changed my mind...
boy you've got me turning...every shade of blue...

while i sit here all alone,
thinking, there's no place like home...
i wonder if you miss me...
along this journey that we're on...
they say the cure for heartbreak...
is another love or time...
and i can't help from wishing...
that you were still mine...

every breath i take; every move i make...
somehow brings me back to loving you...
shouldn't have left you behind...baby i've changed my mind...
boy you've got me turning...every shade of blue...

there's a rainbow up ahead;
i've had it all the time...
when we were together;
when your love was mine...
now i can't stop the sunshine,
and i can't stop the rain...
just wanna love you through all of the heartache and the pain...

every shade of blue...
i'm still in love with you...
boy you've got me turning, every shade of blue...
every shade of blue...
i'm coming home to you...
boy you've got me turning...every shade of blue...

every shade of blue...
i'm coming home to you...
boy you've got me turning, every shade of blue...
every shade of blue...
i'm still inlove with you...
boy you've got me turning...every shade of blue...

every shade of blue...
i'm still in love with you...
boy you've got me turning, every shade of blue...
every shade of blue...
i'm coming home to you...
boy you've got me turning...every shade of blue...
every shade of blue...
StarLight Dancing...

if you are out there wandering,
trying to find your way...
looking within is where you begin,
each moment of every day...
there are so many distractions,
that preoccupy your time...
but the journey is always inward,
within, heaven's treasure you'll find...
i could tell you that it is buddha's bliss,
or the paradise of Christ...
God's streets of gold as the story is told,
or that you're love and light...
but until you journey into yourself,
this presence you are hides from view...
discovering your own true nature...
is what you are meant to do...
everyone's your teacher,
and can guide you along your way...
awakening through life experiencing,
from all the games you play...
willingness and honesty,
are the only things you need...
the truth is there inside you...
you are equanimity...
StarLight Dancing...with Davidu ... and Bruce...

how do we begin to journey inside...
how will we find our way...
through various layers of the mind...
and all of maya's play...
you're human...acknowledge your body...
start caring for it's needs...
pay attention to it's actions...
notice where this leads...
look at the obvious...desire...
surface conscious mind...
see how this level has controlled...
your being for sometime...
underneath are dreams; pain and pleasure...
bound up in memory...
this is your subconscious mind...
where feelings are trapped and free...
much work is needed in this realm...
where habitual patterns form...
that cause us to react as puppets...
creating mental storms...
start questioning all that you believe...
your answers are all within...
willingness and honesty...
is where you must begin...
mind will open up itself...
it's beauty to behold...
revealing it's causal layers...
then blossoming into gold...
StarLight Dancing...with Bruce , and here, and with David...

opening up to bliss,
requires the thinking mind...
to encompass the fullest experience,
of body, voice, and mind...
to be aware of feeling...
in all it's various forms...
mind is quiet revealing...
beyond it's surface norms...
to experience everything it does,
is magical in itself...
need only to, open it's view...
into it's riches delve...
going beyond habitual emotion,
feeling openness anew...
traveling the layers of mind...
experiencing the fullness of you...
present in your true nature...
experiencing the all that is...
infinite magic of the real...
opening up to bliss...
StarLight Dancing...with David...and Bruce...

paying attention to breath...
and how my body has trapped it...
physical pain has stored itself...
and my body is wrapped around it...
tilting my injured neck to one side...
releasing the pain that's been stored...
breathing through it is glorious and torture...
this pain that i've so long ignored...
positions i must endure to release...
all the pain that i need now must feel...
the body designed to heal itself...
feel to heal...i'm keeping it real...
for so long i used the awareness of bliss...
to escape all the physical pain...
but now a new level of truth i find...
my body i must now retrain...
the pills that i took; have long been gone...
today i use energy...
i've tapped into an endless supply...
experiencing a new level of free...
StarLight Dancing...

when love can shine through darkness...
when light includes it all...
no one stands alone outside...
the circle...there's no wall...
light must always have it's dark...
how else could it thus shine?
eternal play of energy...
dances in real time...
space is all inclusive...
dance your way to free...
journey of awakening...
you are equanimity...
compassion for the one in fear...
one day it may be you...
universe unfold the way...
to thine own self be true...
they say the ones along the way...
are the very reflection of you...
awareness in it's human form...
dancing into true...
accepting all just as it is...
yet as it is will change...
life is just an energy dance...
along night's light of day...
StarLight Dancing...with Shifting Energy...

grow up...and be responsible...
for your own feelings and beliefs...
own your actions...stop blaming others...
your life is what you weave...
if you open the door to a monster...
don't be surprised if they come in...
it's like giving candy to a child...
they're gonna take it time and time again...
stand up for what you believe...
voice your feelings strong...
don't run and hide behind a lie...
or judgments of right and wrong...
you teach people how to treat you...
by being true to you...
but first you must be honest...
with yourself and all you do...
before you can recognize the games people play...
you must realize the ones you play...
grow the fuck up...get real with yourself...
and put your childishness away...
learn how to make healthy decisions...
by living in reality...
every choice you make in life...
has the potential to set you free...
learn to pay attention...
there's no one to blame but you...
you walked right into this your life...
now what the hell will you do?
get honest and take responsibility...
for your own feelings and beliefs...
own your actions...stop blaming others...
your life is what you weave...
StarLight Dancing...

cinderella dreaming...what an illusion...
you ladies really need to get real...
there is no such thing as your prince charming...
no matter what you think or feel...
a real man respects a woman...
but a woman should respect herself...
aint no body out there to save you...
physician...heal thyself...
a healthy relationship takes two people...
two people that are healthy themselves...
if you aren't yet aware of the games you play...
you can't spot the games of anyone else...
grow the fuck up...let go of fantasy...
start living in the real, real zone...
stop living in dreams of imagination...
and walk on the planet you're on...
now you might say that i'm a real hard ass...
you got that right my dear...
but i aint telling you nothing but truth...
so open those ears and hear...
take responsibility...
for what you think and feel...
let go of this cinderella dreaming...
feel to heal...and keep it real...
use your mind...not your heart...
feelings will lie to you...
what doesn't lie is what really happens...
when you let others take advantage of you...
until you're able to think straight...
and make real life healthy decisions...
steer clear of those that you don't know...
till your rid of that cinderella vision...
i'm not saying that you can't have...
a love that is really true...
but until you learn to love yourself...
cinderella dreaming is all you'll do...
StarLight Dancing...

you think that i can't see you...
deep inside is truth...
you have many mirrors...
to mirror that to you...
the hardest thing for one to do...
is to get honest with what's within...
accepting all our shadows...
in this moment, begin, again...
awakening to our duality...
our twisted energy...
then seeing the truth of this moment...
the light of clarity...
honesty is the open door...
the one we must walk through...
to awaken from conditioning...
awareness revealed anew...
whenever i'm not comfortable...
it's something i need to resolve...
to look beneath the layers of mind...
consciousness evolve...
StarLight Dancing...

layers of the mind within...
so brilliantly reflected without...
the integration of awareness...
is what embodiment's about...
experiencing being human...
awareness fluid and free...
running through your humanness...
an all expanding...BE...
energy free to flow...
with every breath you breathe...
not trapped by it's conditioning...
a nonconceptual BE...
floating through time and space...
a deeper understanding of know...
an infinite journey of awakening...
awareness of infinite soul...
a freeing feeling...wonder-filled bliss...
such joy to burst a heart...
a peace that passes all understanding...
no end...no absolute start...
a spontaneous continuation...
experiencing life as it unfolds...
in this moment of now...eternal...
free...beyond any holds...
take my hand, let's dance this dance...
this human dance of being...
discovering the infinite layers of mind...
experiencing our very freeing...
StarLight Dancing...with my muses...

my body is awakening...
to it's own sense of being...
all the pain that has been stored...
with every breath is freeing...
the areas once frozen with pain...
are moving in their own space...
and where fear restricted movement...
compassion is flowing in grace...
the healing tones of awareness...
setting conditioning free...
experiencing formless humanness...
the embodiment of me...
increasingly unrestricted...
as muscles finally let go...
releasing the pain they've held so long...
into the eternal flow...
StarLight Dancing...

what does it mean to be human...
to truly experience it all...
to feel the sun upon your face...
to hear the white dove's call...
to look at the way light dances...
or smell the jasmine in bloom...
to touch the soul of another...
to know life in the womb...
the cold that chills you to the bone...
the pain of giving birth...
the way the sand feels on your feet,
or the way you connect with earth...
the wet of water on your tongue,
or a burn upon your flesh...
a life that's lived to the fullest...
or a gentle entrance of death...
the violent hunger of hungry...
the terror of murder and war...
the fear of being lonely...
or the madness at insanities core...
the sickness of a loved one...
the agony of hanging on...
the joy and life in a child's eyes...
a love that's up and gone...
to experience the all of living...
to look life in the eye...
to have this human experience...
to laugh, to love, to cry...
to breathe the air that's given...
no matter what else may be...
tis awareness being human...
living...you and me...
StarLight Dancing...

the joy that's in this moment...
as within has been set free...
it opens up to blissful...
and allows itself to be...
awareness watches everything...
expanding into space...
time is ever flowing...
as i kiss eternity's face...
i feel it flowing through me...
enveloping the blue of sky...
the feeling of a boundlessness...
takes being to new highs...
ever reaching outward...
infinity deep within...
going beyond the given...
each moment new again...
experiencing your own true nature...
awaring limitless...
energy dances every moment...
along it's wonder-filled bliss...
StarLight Dancing...with my muse of the moment...lol...

i need no other lover...
my true beloved found...
enveloping my very being...
alive in every sound...
touching me with endless love...
i melt into it's being...
infinitely flowing...
infinitely freeing...
nothing to hold or grasp...
my beloved is pure bliss...
tis opened me up...inside...out...
with it's eternal kiss...
my beloved is pure heaven...
we dance together as love...
harmonious, exciting, infinite being...
my beloved is made of...
carried away upon it's wings...
there is no end to this...
my beloved has no beginning...
just infinite, magical bliss...
i need no other lover...
the inner and outer dance...
i have my true beloved...
mesmerized by loves trance...
StarLight Dancing...

practicing maintaining, in this wonder-filled bliss beyond...
no attachments remaining...awareness goes on and on...
notice conditioning seeming to rise...in the very body you wear...
then relax back into your true being...always, present there...
no subject nor no object...just the merging feeling of bliss...
that carries you into the flow of awareness...melting into what is...
awareness present in this moment...non-conceptual view...
integrating body and mind...energy always new...
what glorious tingle of body...awareness of energy flow...
releasing all of the tension...flushing the body and soul...
the very heart of being...expanding into the all...
oh what magnificent freeing...into your own joy...fall...
StarLight Dancing...

making love to you in open space...you are my very breath...
my true, my only beloved...in life...and too, in death...
we dance this dance of being...together only to know...
experiencing conscious freeing...and the feeling of letting go...
my heart is filled with only you...for only you exist...
awareness playing peek-a-boo...is seen now through the mist...
reflected now in every thing the human eye beholds...
dancing in and out of time...my beloved is my soul...
what a gift to experience human...with my beloved filled...
beyond the binds of suffering...completely, wholly, healed...
my beloved patiently waits...yet rising within my being...
my true, my only beloved...my very breath and freeing...
oh how awareness dances...with me there in it's arms...
it's trances truly enchanting...my true beloved charms...
making love to you in open space...you are my very breath...
my true, my only beloved...in life...and too...in death...
StarLight Dancing...

deep in contemplation...where thought self-liberates...
i watch the universe unfold...much like Shakespearian plays...
i see the beauty and truth beneath...just energy of consciousness...
true nature of all that is living...unexplainable bliss...
preoccupied by this or that...unaware of the joy underneath...
the surface attachment and grasping...not recognizing true relief...
no judgments or condemnations...where everything is free...
fly from your cage...little bird fly...dance in awareness with me...
leaving all just as it is...a knowing that's unknown...
as total peace consumes your being...dualism finally outgrown...
feel the bliss of what you are...experience the ultimate joy...
the infinite measure of being...that no thing can annoy...
an ever deepening presence...always to rest into...
carrying it along this journey...in all you appear to do...
experiencing the limitlessness...the groundlessness of being...
wide open flowing in time and space...in knowledge of true freeing...
oh glorious pure vision...reflected, transitory, yet real...
this gift of our humanity...awareness now can feel...
melt into compassion...for that is what you are...
everything created for you...the dust of every star...

experiencing your own bliss...is a gift, awareness gives...
learning to remain there...while journeying into what is...
is every human's calling...body, voice, and mind...
this is the very vehicle used...to leave conditioning behind...
to realize what's really real...one must need wake up...
from all conditioned illusory beliefs...empty now that cup...
to live fully awakened...in the ever, eternal now...
your very life as human...awareness shows you how...
the thinking mind...is there to use...expanding all you know...
opening up to the all of all...free of all control...
infinity of awareness...destination is nowhere...
recognize your true condition...you're already there...
and yet the magic of the real...infinitely there to uncover...
embracing your true humanness...reality for you to discover...
reflection of awareness...tis real as real can be...
learn to dance this human dance...reality that's free...
accepting all just as it is...yet knowing it as change...
following your own bliss...along your light of day...
open to awareness...the infinite energy play...
no beginning, no end...infinite journey...come what may...
awareness always on the edge of this infinite moment of now...
universe unfolding it's reality...the true tao...
StarLight Dancing...

i cannot rescue you...you must learn to spread your wings...
to fly free from your cage...just listen to your heart it sings...
your cage is just illusion...the sky is there for you to fly...
see through all confusion...there is no other better high...
the universe unfolds...you choose the path you're on...
you can choose another way...whether to or not to play...
all within this moment now...you can choose the tao...
there is a world beyond your world...this moment you can find...
peace and bliss within your being...leave suffering behind...
within your darkest moment...you can breath the awe you are...
open up your soul to light...and dance on every star...
the universe unfolds...you choose the path you're on...
you can choose another way...whether to or not to play...
all within this moment now...you can choose the tao...
melt into this moment...melt into just what you are...
in a house or in a field...the mountain top's not far...
freedom is within you...that's where happiness is found...
the truth of what you are...never caged...never bound...
the universe unfolds...you choose the path you're on...
you can choose another way...whether to or not to play...
all within this moment now...you can choose the tao...
you only have this moment...feel just what you are within...
fly free in the open sky...each moment life begin...
untangle all attachments...your spirit it was meant to soar...
spread your wings and fly with me...your heart's an open door...
universe unfolds...you choose the path you're on...
you can choose another way...whether to or not to play...
all within this moment now...you can choose the tao...
StarLight Dancing...